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Mark Wahlberg

John

Seth MacFarlane

Ted (voice)

Amanda Seyfried

Samantha

Jessica Barth

Tami-Lynn

Giovanni Ribisi

Donny

Morgan Freeman

Patrick Meighan

Sam J. Jones

Sam J. Jones

Patrick Warburton

Guy

Michael Dorn

Rick

Bill Smitrovich

Frank

John Slattery

Shep Wild

Cocoa Brown

Joy

John Carroll Lynch

Tom Jessup

Ron Canada

Judge

Liam Neeson

Customer

Dennis Haysbert

Fertility Doctor

Patrick Stewart

Narrator (voice)

Tom Brady

Tom Brady

Jay Leno

Jay Leno

Jimmy Kimmel

Jimmy Kimmel